Change of Plans

For the past two months, since Ironstar, I've been telling myself that I'm "recovering."  "Recovering" from the run in which what I thought was my IT band began hurting at mile 3 and never quit.  The past 10 weeks have been full of physical therapy and functional exercises.  The theory was my right hip pain is the result of weak hip flexors, lack of core strength, and weak pelvic floor muscles (who knew there was such a thing as a pelvic floor muscle?).  My wonderful therapist has me doing exercises on the bosu ball that earn me pointed stares at the gym.

But last week, the diagnosis finally came back: femoral impingement and labrum tear.  I haven't met with the surgeon yet, but my online research indicates the best remedy is surgery ... assuming I want to keep biking, swimming, and running. 

Surgery.  It's the word every athlete dreads hearing.  It means weeks, maybe months, of inactivity, losing fitness, and starting from scratch.  I worked so, so very hard to build my mileage up to a half marathon... and now I'm going to have to start all over.  It seems so unfair.

The past week have had several moments of insight, though.

Last Sunday while riding with a good friend, we approached two athletes cycling in what looked like recumbant bikes.  As we got closer, we could see that neither man had legs.  They were out riding, using only their arms.  Thank You, Father, that I have two functional legs that let me walk wherever I want.

Later on Sunday, the teacher talked about God's reckless love for us.  "And we know that God works all things together for good, to them that love Him, and are called according to His purpose."  Rom. 3:23.  It's easy to believe that when life is going the way I want it to.  But what about now, when I'm facing weeks, probably months of not being able to do the things I most love to do?

 To be honest, when I first got the diagnosis, I thought maybe God was punishing me for spending too much time training.  Maybe he was upset with how I spend my time.  Maybe He didn't like me doing triathlons.  My best friend reminded me that God created me to love sports and being active, and that He is not capricious or angry.  So on Sunday, I decided I would choose to trust Him with this.  I don't have to like it, but I can rest assured that He is not surprised, and He already has a plan to bring out of this.  I can't see it now, but that's where faith comes in.

 I've asked God for healing.  Sometimes He heals; more often He does not.   Either way, He is good.

So for the next couple of weeks, I'm going to fully enjoy the time I have left to ride and swim.  There may not be many races for me this year.  But when I'm on the other side of this, I'll be riding and swimming again.  And for that, I am thankful.